why is it doing this?

i searched "when your heart flutters what does that mean?" on google yesterday and it said: Common Everyday Triggers- Stress and anxiety: High emotions trigger a fight-or-flight response that speeds up your heartbeat. Stimulants: Consuming caffeine (like coffee or energy drinks), nicotine, or certain cold medicines with pseudoephedrine can stimulate your heart. Dehydration: Low fluid levels in your body force your heart to work harder to pump blood. Lifestyle factors: Intense physical exercise, lack of sleep, or heavy alcohol use can make you more aware of your heartbeat. Hormones and health: Changes during pregnancy, menstruation, menopause, fever, or an overactive thyroid can also cause flutters.
well, considering i only have 1 or 2 cans of pop a day at the most- i highly doubt it's that because i used to drink more pop and my heart never fluttered. nicotine.. i don't smoke, the first puff of a cigarette would probably kill me and besides that- THEY STINK. i don't remember the last time i had a cold to take cold medicine.. so that possibility is out. i'm not as active as i used to be and so i'm also doubting the "intense physical excercise" suggestion, could be lack of sleep and i don't drink alcohol enough for it to be considered "heavy". i'm really thinking it's dehydration related even though ALL i drink now is water, along with one or two cans of mt. dew. i know my mom has (maybe HAD but i doubt it) migraines which are caused by dehydration. that's why they pump her with shots of water and botox when she goes to the emergency room. i've had botox but i'm pretty sure i first started getting pumped with shots of botox at least 10 years before she did and i had it in everything from opening my hands up (because they used to be closed from muscle tone after i was in a car accident and i had to have my hands/fingers casted open) to my neck, arms, and legs. however- i'm thinking that my heart also never used to flutter because of the ARP therapy i used to get because i remember how they used to encourage me to drink water so it would be more effective and i'm thinking the fluid that tram used to use in his arp box thing used to have something that hydrated me? i'm no expert but i'm really thinking that it's fluttering now because the difference in how i used to be more hydrated and my body thinks it should have the same level of hydration as back then- i'm aware i'm far from a doctor.. so i really don't know but that's about the only reason for it i can come up with (other than the only relative i'm aware of having issues with their heart was my grandpa- but he also used to smoke.. which like i said- i don't smoke because it'd probably kill me the first puff.. i wonder if my dad's side of the family had cardiac issues?). even when i'm just laying in bed, my heart will flutter every now and then- i actually got a quick stabbing pain a few days ago in my heart. i'm also guaranteeing that's probably a reason why my psychologist told me not to think about my mom because i noticed my heart starting to flutter when i was thinking about her once. SO THANKS MOM! YOU CAUSE YOUR OWN DAUGHTER TO HAVE HEALTH PROBLEMS! i'm sure she doesn't care. if anything- she feels proud that she actually has an affect on someone. she doesn't give a damn if she causes her own daughter to have anxiety.. SHE'S JUST HAPPY THAT SHE COULD MAKE A DIFFERENCE IN SOMEONE'S LIFE! also because it's not her favorite daughter.. so who gives a damn! i'm convinced that she doesn't like my brother and i as much as she favors her youngest daughter. could have something to do with how my brother and i have different fathers than my sister and our father traumatized her more, so she figures she has to take it out on us? both men used to beat on her. oh well. she can't give me anything i couldn't get from anyone/anywhere else. after a while without support from your own mother, you learn to find it other places!.. besides, if she just all of a sudden started offering me "support" now- it wouldn't be genuine so it wouldn't matter- AND BESIDES THAT: she doesn't know how to give the support i need! too little, too late.
heh, fredrick just made the observation that he thinks i could be a good secretary because i type fast and how much i've typed just in this blog entry. he also said, "AND YOU'RE A GOOD SPELLER!.. THERE'S NO GRAMATICAL ERRORS! WOW! LOOK AT THAT!" glad someone noticed my talents.. i'm not sure if it'll actually pay off though. shit doesn't tend to work for me. i managed to schedule more interviews for this week coming up- even if they're just virtual, it gets me closer to being hired. i've also noticed the more i talk about getting a job/interviews, the less my mom and sister seem to be interested in my blog. because they can't relate and it's of NO INTEREST to them? they only enjoy seeing me fail and shit not work out for me because misery loves company? thanks assholes, you've just motivated me to get more job interviews!